Depression In Recovery

I've suffered from depression for years in and out of recovery, I didn't know what it was though. I just thought I was some kind of loser who would never get things right, I didn't know I was a human being and would never get everything right. I read an article in an A.A. grapevine once where Bill Wilson said he was in a depression for years, I think it was the first years of his sobriety, I can't remember but I'm sure that's what it was. Depression is a fact of life for a lot of us addicts/alcoholics, mine comes and goes, this time I've been in one for a couple years. I've learned to live with it though and I trudge on in life almost never satisfied with where I'm at but getting better none the less. I've thought about going on medication for it and I might eventually go that route, I don't know at this point. I see some people in early recovery go that route and I think it's a huge mistake, I mean their brain chemistry is already screwed up and then they go on medication and they just get worse and wonder why. I'm kind of scared to go that route just because I'm afraid of the effect medication will have on me....me being such a control freak as it is. Anyway, I don't know, that's just where I'm at right now.