Leave Mamas Junk Alone

A young friend (about age ) and I (age ) were talking about all the junk we collect over time. The conversation turned to how much junk her mother had, and I said I understood because by the time you reach my age, even if you are not a chronic pack rat, junk accumulates. My lame excuse for saving things is that I work full time and deciding what to get rid of is not a priority. Another justification is that I grew up during the Great Depression, always wanting things of my own -- and now Ive got them. Get rid of them? Youre kidding! The conversation with my young friend shifted to her brother still living at home. He needed more space in the garage for his car, and Mamas junk was taking up more space than he deemed necessary, so he threw some of it out when Mama was not at home. Shell never miss it, he rationalized. It appears that more than a few adult children feel the same way. On several occasions my Boomer-age daughter, who doesnt live with or near me, and should not be bothered by my junk, has suggested, Why dont you get rid of all this stuff. What should it matter to adult children, living in their own home with junk of their own, how much stuff you collect? After you are gone, they can back up a garbage truck to the garage, and get rid of it. On the other hand, if they are smart, they will hold on to the treasures, or have a garage sale. Some of the stuff my generation has been saving from day one now has antique status and may have value, perhaps not to unappreciative children, but to savvy collectors. Let me explain something to adult children about old people, i.e., their parents: If retired, there probably are no more long or even short term goals, no more exciting dreams or aspirations -- nothing to strive for. Life is lived as a pastime -- golf, gardening, travel, shopping. Remember when is an integral part of a typical retirees conversation. And thats okay. Those scraps of material Mama has been saving that you think she doesnt need and wont miss are tangible evidence of a happy time that can be revisited by touching or seeing those pieces of cloth. It gives her a warm and fuzzy feeling when emotional warmth may be in short supply. Until there is a good reason to do otherwise, leave Mama alone with all her junk. Its not yours to dispose of until she dies or asks you to get rid of it. You would not be happy if she came into your home while you were away and threw out what she considered junk. After all, you are at an age when youve already collected a few useless trinkets that have great meaning to you but would be rated junk by others. What goes around comes around. Respect rights of others, especially your parents. Your young children will learn from your good example and if you are lucky, they will not throw out your precious junk behind your back when you are old.